Thoughts

The day I passed my driving test

Today!!!! Today was the fateful day of my driving test.

The past week I’ve been filled with so so much anxiety and jitters, I have had no appetite to eat (I love food, and I usually have an appetite even when I fall really sick, so it prob means something serious when I actually don’t feel like eating!), couldn’t fall asleep properly or stay asleep properly and just couldn’t stop worrying about my driving test. I managed to have a (relatively) more peaceful sleep the previous night after listening to my fav music and doing some mindfulness meditation (via youtube) for about 10mins.

This morning I tried to distract myself by working on my thesis for awhile and watched funny videos from my fav youtubers (Dan and Phil) while lunching. Then I listened to calming music and did mindfulness meditation again before leaving the house for the driving school. T_ T

Was still feeling really jittery and I actually had to keep reminding myself to breathe (you are now in manual breathing mode heh heh heh…oops I triggered myself). The reporting place for the warm-up is within the Admin Service Centre, you have to go through the doors next to the counter.

I was the first to arrive at the waiting room for the warm-up but the last to be called for my warm-up. ;_; During the warm-up (starts an hour before the test, lasts about 30mins, it’s real quick), I was feeling reallyyyy anxious and made some mistakes I’ve never done before. Also, yesterday and the day before that, I made lots of stupid mistakes for my mock practical tests with my instructor as well ;_ ; if I was my instructor I wouldn’t have faith in myself after seeing me fail so badly twice just before my practical test!!

The warm-up instructor was also in a hurry (cause you don’t wanna keep the tester waiting in case he turns up early) to finish the warm-up which made me feel even more anxious lol. He was pretty friendly and gave me some tips and reminders though, which was nice. After the warm-up, we had to go upstairs to pass my I/C to the admin (who will then pass it to the tester), then head to this opaque/dark-glass-windows waiting room next to the stairs, where a bunch of people were seated, looking like their(our) doomsday was coming lolol. As time passed, a tester will pop in and call your name, following which you have to lead him to your car. Whenever I saw a fierce-looking instructor I was like omgplsdon’tcallmynameplsdon’tcallmyname! PS: Remember your car number and where you car is parked after the warm-up!

For some reason, I felt as if all my nervousness and jitteryness were washed out during the warm-up, and my mind suddenly felt strangely calm and silent while in the waiting room (albeit still with a tinge of anxiety). I was oddly at peace despite the arduous wait for my name to be called!

Also, I was so so so lucky that the weather today was perfect. It was really sunny (actually I almost couldn’t see properly because it was too sunny lol) even though the weather forecast said there’d be an 80% chance of rain. :’) I was even luckier to have had such a nice tester! He was a malay tester and before the test started, he asked me to keep calm, to remember to look far ahead and reminded me about the emergency break during reaction response. *_*

I actually remembered to check all my blind spots and signals and everything (despite forgetting them during the warm-up) in the circuit (except my car was slightly slanted during parking), and things went quite smoothly outside as well…except I didn’t see a motorcycle heading towards me while lane changing lolol but luckily I saw him in time and the motorcyclist eventually moved away from me as well *phew*… I could’ve had an immediate failure on that one, but thank goodness I managed to go back to my own lane on time…I wouldn’t like to spend another $200 (and more) on another test and another couple more lessons.

I felt like a VIP when I was in the test car both in the circuit and on the road lol. People give way to you and stuff. Even jaywalkers thought twice and stopped instead of jaywalking in front of me. THANK YOU KIND PEOPLE!!!!!111

After we went back to the school, I followed him up the stairs, and sat in an oral exam/interview-like arrangement, facing him with a tiny square table between us, where he showed me the results slip he printed and talked about my mistakes and stuff. He started by telling me about my motorcycle incident and I was like shitttt am I gonna fail…but he told me I was nonetheless a safe driver and congratulated me!! Woohoo!!!

I have to really thank my 2 instructors from OneTeam (car 255!) for taking care of me, grilling me, teaching me and correcting me. I probably couldn’t have gotten my license by this year if it weren’t for them. (I was under another team previously and my previous instructor was sooo bad that I changed to this one, and I’m so glad I did!) I have had the best team of instructors ever, who complemented each other, even though they may think they teach contradictory things. :’) kind of feeling nostalgic and sad to never see them again after months of learning from them!

At the same time I also feel SUPER happy to not have to go back to the driving school a few times every week. No more lonely out-of-place lunches amidst a crowd of older men at a coffeeshop! No more pretending to strain my neck to check for danger! I’m excited (and also afraid) to start driving in the outside world too!

I’m actually quite surprised to have passed considering I failed all my mock trials prior to today lol. But I’ve always surprised myself this way, and I always manage to pull through with my determination and positive outlook someway or another. Even if I failed I would’ve tried again and again and again. (and then earn some money) and again. Thank goodness I don’t have to spend money on a second test!!! (cause I’m a real cheapskate and $200 is daylight robbery!!) I’m really thankful that I adopted this positive mindset this year after a really-bad-close-to-depression period from May to July. Yup, I made a 180 degrees mental change which is still a work in progress. And this positive outlook is something I’d like to continuously work on even in the coming year! And the next! And the next! Because it’s brought me nothing but happiness and gratefulness even amidst tough times. :’)

 

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