Thoughts

Initiative

Data collection at the wards today went kind of smooth at the beginning, but after lunch, I got rejected by a patient and realized after checking with the nurses that the rest of the 7 patients in my list were unavailable. So I quickly texted my prof on what to do, who asked me to ask for more patient names from the doctors of the other wards. Well I guess deep inside I already knew that was what I had to do, but I needed the push from someone for me to do that.

When I went to check on the other wards, the nurses all said that the doctors weren’t in during the afternoons. Not knowing what to do (although I actually already knew what I had to do), I texted my prof for help again. While waiting for his reply, I was feeling really upset that I was going to waste my entire day here and only manage to collect 1 participant. :(((( It may sound insignificant, but I was just a few steps close to being to the brink of tears.

I was just sitting at the lobby with my luggage filled with data collection things, basically emoing. The receptionist suggested to me to ask one of the nurses for the patient list, but they were all always busy and I wasn’t sure if they knew enough. Then one of the nurses/doctor (I forgot) who was gonna get off work and leave the ward saw me, and asked me what I was doing and why I looked so lonely. I said I ran out of participants. He told me to ask the receptionist for help, who could lead me to one of the nurses.

He was kind of the trigger for me to stop emoing and start problem solving. I stood up immediately and asked the receptionist for help, but he said he was busy and told me to go into the ward to wait first. I went in and sat around awhile, and some nurses saw me sitting around but didn’t approach me. And well, the environment there is so busy that no one would help you if you didn’t initiate the need for help. I finally got sick of moping around and approached nurse after nurse until one of them gave me the names of a couple of patients.

Feeling really happy as I still had sufficient time for one more patient for the day, I quickly approached the first name of the list. She was sitting around with some other people her age. She kind of rejected me but I kept pleading with her to help me with my study lolol, and her friend who was sitting at the table told me she didn’t mind participating. But that might’ve been a spontaneous thing because she seemed to regret almost immediately when she was doing the study. T___T

The study takes around 2hours, but after just 20mins, she said she was super tired and wanted to go take a walk in the garden and would be back ย latest an hour after (at 4.30pm). I was okay with that since I would still have sufficient time before their dinner time started. But at 4.30pm, she was nowhere to be seen. I decided to wait awhile more, and at 5pm, she still was not there. I asked the nurse if she had seen her, but she said she didn’t know and that she was busy so she couldn’t help me. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ anyway, there wasn’t enough time anymore to continue with the study today, so I called it a (bad) day and went to pack up my things into the luggage.

I honestly should’ve followed my intuition the whole day today. Firstly, I should’ve just headed in to ask the nurses for more patients when I ran out instead of just sitting around wasting time. Secondly, I should’ve went to get another patient while waiting for the girl who went to the garden (since she said she’d take an hour), and I could’ve spent an hour with the new participant. At that time, the thought of all of the above did cross my mind, but for some reason I just felt scared that because I tried to take things into my own hands instead of wait around, I might ruin something.

Sometimes, the opportunities are already there. They’re just waiting for me to use my hands and grab them.

This is honestly something I need to work on – taking initiative. And maybe all the troubles I went through today could be teaching me how to do it.

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